You and me, are we different?

I work with this card game diversophy®, created by someone with high experiences in intercultural management and diversity. I wish to major in progressing my study knowledge about this field. I have read a certain amount of articles and books about diversity (maybe just few comparing to many people). So, when I saw daily prompt for today was “diverse“, I thought, well, that would be something I needed to write about. But, the moment I sat down in front of my computer, I was stuck.  I was triggered of whether I had actually understood the word ever.

Let’s search on Google “diversity“, I said to myself. I did. Here were top ones I found on the first page:

  • DIVR (Diversity Recordings) is a Label Record dedicated in releasing & supporting artists from all over the world.
  • the quality or state of having many different forms, types, ideas, etc. : the state of having people who are different races or who have different cultures in a group …

  • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diversity_(politics)

    In sociology and political studies, the term diversity (or diverse) is used to describe political entities (neighborhoods, student bodies, etc.) with members who …

  • gladstone.uoregon.edu/…/diversityinit/definition.html

    Definition of Diversity. The concept of diversity encompasses acceptance and respect. It means understanding that each individual is unique, and recognising …

I did not click onto any links there. Why? I think all first few words have already told us enough, or at least me (well, except the first one, I did not have any knowledge about such). They told me one core point: society includes people from different background, who have different opinions/lifestyles/personalities/characteristics/beliefs/and so forth but that makes each individual unique. 

I have come recently many articles about self-identity. Possibly, originality of this term is from Western culture, which is now developing strongly among young generation. We might get annoyed hearing we “are the same as the rest“. We want to hear we “are different in our way“. We wish to be seen among a big crowd. We are afraid of simply blending in. In fact, I come from a culture, in which “blending in” would not be considered as bad. Following a beaten path sometimes might be wise. Because if the rest of people are doing a thing, why not you?

Somewhere along my high school journey, I began to question: well, why should I?

Maybe that was the moment I packed my bag, heading towards a long continuous journey of finding myself, my so-called identity. Yes, I do not want to be seen “the same as the rest“. I do want to hear I “am different in my way“. I do wish to be seen among a big crowd. It is not because I strive for attention. But I strive for differences. Days after days, months after months,every single time I meet a new person, hear a new story, share a new piece of myself to them, gain a new piece of them to me—is every single reminder of how life is diverse. What’s the fun of growing up in a place where everyone acts the same? Real fun and satisfaction come from moments I find a similarity among sea of differences; “Oh, that person thinks the same as me! Amazing!“.

Days after, I might find out that same person has a whole different perspective on food selection (for example), or on sport hobbies, or many possible other things on the list. However, there is still that one similar common, connecting us and we are still able to keep our own differences. Sometimes, I do forget. Sometimes, I do jump to a conclusion anyone around me should act or think the same as me. It usually takes me hours or days for dragging myself back to the starting point, where I attempt to think: maybe they are different.

I also don’t like judgment. This is not to say I myself have never judged or kept bias before. Stating I don’t like judgement is actually a sentence I still teach myself living daily. I take some moments before or after I form any biases: if I have a right to tell them why their differences are bad? Being diverse is not bad, being different is a privilege; but how we act towards them can come in a bad form. I don’t think I need to tell you more what those bad forms can be, worldwide news might have been already both upset and sufficient enough to you.

Anyhow, in society also exists people like me—who are addicted in differences. As I say, life is diverse, all-good or all-bad world might remain too unrealistically simple to demand for. So, besides the news about terrorism/migration “crisis” (there should never be a phenomenon called migration crisis, but that is another topic) you might have heard, I will also tell you: even if I am no where near yet in re-finding my own identity, I would never change my embrace of diversity. And I think whatever makes you feel unique, you should not let such be buried, you should not let a burden of sameness onto yourself. Because at the end of the day, people being looked at from an angle far away, are all human with bodies and faces—and that is already enough of sameness in my opinion.
Diverse

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Abandonement

…is when you wish Happy Bday to the person you saw almost every day, every hour, spent every night sleeping next to, for months; and all you recieved is “ty”. A “thank you” word was not even written in full form. Or maybe it is just an over-thinking reaction? 

…was when you went mad because the same person did not wish you Happy Birthday, and you waited hours before your anger—mixed with all the things you held back inside—exploded. You were told it was because of time differences and busy working schedule. You were asked what you wanted the person to do. You were not sure about the answer. 

….is when you don’t recall since when life has turned to be a club, in which people walk in to share same interests. And after many bonds, the beginning interests fade, they walk away. 

…was when you didn’t have a perfect last night to be with a guy. You weren’t prepared for the ending to come, but it did. You were confused how to react, lying on that bed with a cold backside the whole night. 

….is when you keep re-living the same night over subconciously until you grasp for breath because of suffocation. And consciouly whenever you see something with his name or any detail involving him. 

….was when you walked out of that door, hesitated before closing it behind you, walked downstairs but kept looking back, hoping for a miracle. “Please…

….is when life is too ironic: giving you a reason feeling alive and taking away. Because you were never meant to have it in the first place. But maybe it was you, not life. You decided. 

….was when you knew at the beginning you would never be able to replace that girl. But you blindly and madly fell for him anyway. You wanted to be the reason making him happy, as you would be too. You were told you made him happy, but that had never been and was not enough, especially the moment you walked on the plane. 

….is when you are aware you have people around you, but unsure who would actually give you a shoulder to lean on. You have learnt people promised, people cared at first, but then walked away. They have their own baggages and yours are not something extra they bargain for. 

…was when you kept wondering how he had been doing, felt unready to leave without knowing he would be okay. For months. Only to realise it was never reciprocated, except for his words “let him be” being echoed in your head. 

…is a feeling you cannot let go.

…was a wound never healed because you did not know how to mend. 

…is pushing you back to your own corner, away from the world. 

…was what you held onto, for strength to fight. 

….is a series of moments your trust got shattered into pieces. 

….and is yet a wall you wish to break. Knowing it is not who you are, but also knowing without it, you sense as if a part has been dripped apart. 

Abandoned